Amtrak Traveler/Quitting Smoking

I've been on the Amtrak train for 7 hours. I haven't smoked the entire time. I'm in a new city with new buildings, new shops, and a cooler climate and all I can think of is going outside, bumming a smoke, and lighting up. I feel like a drug addict! Ugh! I am a drug addict. Nicotine, I could write a lament for the loss of it. It's been my best friend for years and years, almost 20 years (minus the ten of that that I didn't smoke). I'm so sad with the thought of never smoking again. How can that be? How can I never puff away so pleasurably again? It's all or nothing for you and your addictive personality babe. I can't just have one, cause then I need another and another. This is so hard. I don't know if I wanta endure it! But I have to! No options. 17% of all deaths in the United States are caused by smoking cigarettes. That's almost 1/5, like 51 million or so people die every year from smoking cigarettes. That's 4 million a month, which is 139,000 people every day, every freakin day! The point is that many are dying from those little white smoking sticks. Insane! And yet still, all I wanta do is go smoke. This is killing me. So either it kills me for a few minutes every few hours for a week, or it takes like 5 or 10 or 15 years off my life. You freakin choose! Ok so I just got up and bought a cup of coffee and a chocolate chip cookie, hoping that would help, and while I was cream and sugaring it up I saw a little pamphlet resting on the counter. I flipped it open and there was a picture of an angel and a saying that said whoever wasn't written into the book of life would be cast into a lake of fire. Good god I didn't want to read that right now. I'm really freakin. If there's smoking allowed there than I'll go! No, but seriously, I doubt there is smoking in eternity. It's not healthy, and in eternity everybody has a perfect body and is super healthy, I imagine anyway. This is my little theory. I'm reminded of what my adorable little sister told me yesterday, "It's about Progress, not perfection". So freakin true... Well I am on my way to Norman, Oklahoma, and I imagine I will be writing a lot more the next 4 or 5 days, as I will be there that whole time, living it up. Actually I plan to have like a Zen retreat, not that I believe in reincarnation or melting into one with the great Baharama or whatever it is called, but Zen as in doing Yoga, swimming, and lounging by the pool, writing, walking around and taking pics, and just being for a little while without having to be or do anything in particular.